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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29511060">pumpkin;</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cottontxiled/pseuds/cottontxiled'>cottontxiled</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Local man is shocked out of his building shutdown by crush! what happens next will startle you, Other, Pining Caleb, They/Them Pronouns for Mollymauk Tealeaf, wrote this while pining for a molly so if it seems like im projecting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:42:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29511060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cottontxiled/pseuds/cottontxiled</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I used to think Romeo was full of shit / And the Notebook was just my favorite chickflick / But now I get why Sarah was so hard to forget.</p><p>-- Pumpkin, The Regrettes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Implied Fjord/Mollymauk Tealeaf, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>pumpkin;</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i fluctuate between my writing is immature and my writing is so fucking sexy . rn my writing sounds like garbage</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Logically, Caleb broke it down to himself, in the midst of his trembling, he took inventory around the campfire. Nott was curled near his knees, Beauregard and Yasha had claimed one side, while Jester and Molly opted to cuddle on the other. Fjord was just above Caleb, and judging by the snores, all were very much still asleep. Spare Molly, who had gone out earlier with a simple shushing noise as Caleb looked up to watch them go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was curled on his side, watching the last few embers fizzle out, dawn was breaking and the others would be awake soon. He needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>grounding, and he had no desire for his friends to see him like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The night was full of one dream after another, linked together like hoops. His parents, so terrified of him -though it was a half-lie on his subconscious' part- stuck with him. They called to him, wailing his name as he is fixed outside, frozen in terror all over again. Seared into his skin was the constant reminder of what he had been, what he had the potential for. It was sickening to have these dreams, to replay what he could remember of the night. That name, Bren, which had once been </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>name was sullied. All he associated it with was a hand across his face, and a house in flames. Something changed in him, when the woman cleared the clouds from his head. Bren was… Yeah, Bren was a fixture of the past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All of these thoughts were heavy to have at dawn. He drags himself to sit farther away, looking out over the lake they were near, splashing the water across his face, and crossing his legs, to watch across the waters. Slowly, he feels his heartrate settle, breathing out and in with the tide. There’s the sound of footfalls nearby, and Caleb whips his head up to look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Must be a pretty fuckin’ interesting lake.” Came Mollymauk’s voice, as they fall onto the grass beside Caleb. “It’s been about 15 minutes since you woke. All you’ve done is … this?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Mollymauk. How are you, Mollymauk. I am fairing well, thank you.” He states in a dry tone, tossing a stone in to watch the ripples reach shore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>telling jokes, Caleb, that's definitely  my effect,” Mollymauk laughs, though it’s soft, still rough with exhaustion. “What woke you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caleb hums, brushing his thumb over a shell repeatedly, looking down at it. He squints, as if trying to see something hidden between the ridges. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Caleb.” Mollymauk raises an eyebrow, “Hi, hello. Still here.” Their tail brushes against the shell in his hand, and Caleb looks up at the contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well…” Caleb begins, “I don’t know if that matters. Patterns, routines, the mind is a strange thing.” He toes in the wet sand as he talks, just agitated enough for them to take notice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh.. What kinda routine do you keep, O Wizard?” They ask, keeping it light-hearted for the most part, cracking an easy smile. Caleb merely tilts his head, as if pondering the question, allowing dirty red hair to fall in his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Same one I always have.” He shrugs, continuing his little routine of humming, and petting the shell. “Wake, get orders, follow them, rest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That…. didn’t sit right, with Molly, that much was clear and Caleb nearly regretted saying it. “Orders?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, as in instruction. Direction.” He clarifies, hoping that clears it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Molly nods hesitantly, looking at the gritty sand that stuck to Caleb’s hands. He was busying himself with picking out shells, possibly to show them to Nott. Or to be used as spell components. He seemed to be taking comfort in finding shells, that much was obvious to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So they crouch down, patting the ground in search of seashells of epic proportions. They theatricalize it, grinning triumphantly at the sight upturn of Caleb’s mouth. “A </span>
  <em>
    <span>blue</span>
  </em>
  <span> shell, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>red</span>
  </em>
  <span> shell, ooo- Wait, I actually like this one.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Caleb looks over, and with no sense of boundaries, runs his fingers over the grooves, interested. “It’s a pretty color, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>color, look,” Molly displays it against their lavender skin, the shell shone against it, a remarkably similar tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, a pretty color.” Caleb restates, and hums, looking down for more shells, retrieving a pink and white one. “Ah, this one could um.. Uh- represent, my skin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are far too dirty for me to tell, darling.” Mollymauk says affectionately, turning away to dig in the sand. They hear a soft, quietly delighted gasp, and look at Caleb, who is cupping a small crab between his hands, smiling more with his eyes than his mouth. He holds it gingerly, cradling it as it angrily clacks it’s pincers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, little friend.” He mutters, “What are you doing scuttling around? It is far too early. You must.. You must sleep, yes.” No response from the crab, only angry clicking noises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After another few beats of the small creature crawling along Caleb’s hands, he places it in a patch of sandy grass, dusting off his hands. “Okay. I am done now.” He says, promptly, and Mollymauk shrugs, used to the abrupt announcements that came hand-in-hand with Caleb.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think this is a formidable pile, in any case,” They begin to say, stopping short at Caleb, hesitantly shrugging off his coat. “Why, Mr. Widogast..” A teasing tone overtakes their voice, leaning close into his personal space to grin mischievously at the bedraggled wizard. “Do you intend to take a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bath?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caleb blushed down his neck, mumbling something before clearing his throat as he fiddled with the harness. “I just. I want to go in the water before the others..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mollymauk grins, holding an arm out with a flourish, “Do you need me to hold it?” They prompt, tail curling behind them like a pleased cat. Caleb hums, wrapping the books in the coat thoughtfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nein. It would be rude of me to ask that, surely you also want to..?” He gestures to the ocean, ears tinged red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They shake their head rather firmly. “Ah. Well… I am trusting you. Do not draw dicks in my books.” He says seriously, secretly pleased when that gets a giggle out of Molly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t dream of it.” They state, innocently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caleb scoffs, and drapes his coat on the log, stretching before quickly curling back up as he was decidedly naked without his coat. He wades in, to chest deep water, and ducks under, letting the weight of the grime and grease be scoured away by undercurrents, knowing full well he will just be salty and cold later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sting of the cold water at least steals his attentions away from his thoughts, weary despite the sleep he’d been able to get. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caleb was worn out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s in his eyes, in the slump of his shoulders, the knotted hair (graced with buttons. ‘i-love-you’ in not so many words from Nott.) It’s in the way that they’ll pass through a town, and he’ll stiffen, because the women  speak that same way his mother did, tugging along restless children. It’s in the fact that 7 years ago, Caleb graduated, alongside Eodwulf and Astrid.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Names he’d rather not linger on. Underwater, everything is cold and disconnected from the things he’d rather not experience as of now.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Caleb resurfaces, the sky is painted brilliant golds and reds, and he hums, shaking himself off in a fashion similar to his familiar, before padding back over to the spot where Mollymauk was currently amassing even more shells. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mollymauk, this is a small fortune of shells,” His voice is coated with quiet amusement as he crouches next to them, getting a curious look from the tiefling as his wet clothes and hair drip all over the pile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>getting water</span>
  </em>
  <span> on my </span>
  <em>
    <span>shells</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Mollymauk scolds, and just to be obnoxious, Caleb shakes his hair like a wet dog, splattering the smaller with freezing river water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mollymauk splutters for a moment, and crosses their arms at Caleb, who’s hair is falling over his shoulders, hanging around his face as he begins to sort the shells out by color. “You are such a rude man, you know that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My apologies for any offense.” Caleb offers, sounding not very apologetic. Mollymauk rolls their eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few quiet moments pass, and Caleb looks up. “Thank you.” He says quietly. “For um. For understanding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Molly pressed a shell into his hand, until the human wrapped his fingers around it, and shrugged amiably at the words. “Nobody stares at a lake for 15 minutes as a part of a routine, Caleb.” They tease, and Caleb’s beginning to turn red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I did say that, didn’t I..” Caleb mutters to the sand. Mollymauk laughs, and the sound of it almost tears a laugh from Caleb, amused and a little embarrassed of his own words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a reprieve from the sudden heaviness. Molly had always been good at that, putting him at ease, there was something about the tiefling that made things feel safer. It occurs to him he hasn’t taken off his coat for nearly anybody in the group yet, its (as well as his pack’s) status as his biggest comfort had mostly deterred them from asking after it, though Jester had given it a few attempts. But, it felt normal, almost naturally with Molly. And to their credit, Molly didn’t fuss over it, used to the odd behavior that came with Caleb, still focused on gathering shells.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> His heart constricts in his chest, and after a few silent, peaceful moments, he opens his mouth, prepared to tell them such when footfalls draw nearer, and a grumbling Fjord peers down at them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re headin’ out, in like.. an hour.” The half-orc yawns, rubbing one eye and squinting at them both. “How long’ve y’all been up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caleb is fighting the urge to sigh exasperatedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quite a bit, I forget how soundly you sleep.” Molly purrs, getting to their feet and padding back to join Fjord and the rest of the Nein, “Caleb, you coming?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caleb gathers the shells, and heaves a sigh, shouldering both his coat and his pack before he rejoins the group, easily falling into pace with his companions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’d be time enough for sappy confessions later. </span>
</p>
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